I'd like to thank The Academy!..
Alan Kapler at the Academy Scientific and technical awards (sci-tech)
Here I am at the Academy Sci-Tech Awards, where i won "Mr. Congeniality".
Okay, okay. On February 12, 2005, I was honored with an Academy Technical Achievement Award for some special-effects software i developed known officially as "Storm" but actually called
something very inappropriate and offensive.

You can read a Popular Science article about "Storm" and myself by clicking HERE.
and if that doesn't work, try THIS.

alan kapler

Here I am with my adorable parents at the Ritz Carlton, walking a fine line with my alcohol consumption.
Too little and I become nervous, jittery, unpredictable. Too much and I lose my Cool.
-Tuxedo by "Mr. Tuxedo"

alan kapler

I am Sooo MONEY!
On stage afterward for a photo shoot, holding my certificate (no, i didn't get an Oscar!)
I would soon discover these large statues are not, in fact, filled with chocolate.

click for bigger

Proof positive that i do have a significantly smaller-than-average head. (middle row, 2 left of center)
Even Scarlett Johanssen (bottom, center) appears to have a larger cranium.
The gold android in the center of the picture is Scarlett's robotic bodyguard,
carefully programmed to prevent us nerds from trying to touch, lick, or even talk to her.

More to come later! (yeah right!)